Saturday, March 7, 2009

It Was as Loud as a Rat Next to a Sissy Girl Screaming

Now, I wonder which was louder- the rat or the sissy girl? Probably, in the rat world, the rat was louder. Wouldn't it be far scarier if you were a rat and came across a creature multiple times your size with a high pitched scream? Something dressed in pink, although all you would get a good look at would be her sequined ballerina flats. Imagine two objects going up and down attached in the air to a wriggling ruffle. At that point I think the rat would scramble for cover. Now, if the rat happened upon a brawny boy it might be petrified by the face peering down at it blowing out lots of hot air that sounds like, "Hey, cool!" Nonetheless, either way I think the greater fear is with the rat.

So, what is the lesson here? I think it may be the misuse of similes. As a teacher I have fun with students teaching similes and metaphors, but this is a classic example of trying too hard to throw in a simile where it just doesn't work. Similes should enhance and not distract from the writing. So, the next time you confront a rat, perhaps you would scream as loud as (fill-in-the-blank) and let the rat run for cover.

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